I Took the FSOT

I don’t know if I should say I took the Foreign Service Officer Test. It might be more appropriate to say that the FSOT took me. But more on that later. I trained and bussed it to Tangier, Morocco so that I could catch a flight to Marseille. That was about a full day of travel and I arrived in Marseille around midnight. I just went to sleep in the airport, planning on studying for this test in the morning. That’s more or less what I did. I woke up, washed up, and spent the entire day in the airport studying (and chatting, and updating my blog, and facebooking, and generally wasting time). After reading over some material that proved to be totally useless, I went to my usual place and went back to sleep around midnight. I’ve slept several nights in this airport now, and it’s beginning to feel like home. The only difference is that at home I don’t wake up to the sound of a stranger snoring next to me. Also, I don’t have pain in the ass alcatraz-style faucets, to quote Seinfeld.

I slept in my corner, woke up at 5am and caught a bus to the train station where I took a train to Paris. I left my bags in a locker at the Gare de Lyon train station in Paris and headed to the embassy. This was dumb, because after the test I had to go back to the train station to get my bags and then take another metro to another train station to go to Nantes. It was about 3-4 days of constant travel without really getting anywhere. I never thought that a trip to Paris could seem so mundane. As much traveling as I’ve been doing, going back to Paris seems like a chore. Traveling alone also takes a bit of the excitement out of it, though it does add a bit of adventure to the mixture.

Just as I was reflecting on how bored I was, I emerged from the subway station Concorde into Place de la Concorde. The Place de la Concorde is probably the most badass place in Paris and France. It’s probably in the top few most badass places in Europe, even. When you walk out from the underground, your attention is immediately turned toward a large obelisk that once stood in front of the Luxor Temple. This obelisk was actually given to France as a gift, which isn’t generally the case for most Egyptian artifacts you see in the West. The obelisk’s tip is plated in a gold that glows blindingly with the sun’s reflection. This monument marks the site where thousands were put to death by guillotine during the revolution, including such favorites as Marie Antoinette, Robespierre and Louis XVI. Equally calling for your attention is a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower. When you first stumble upon this square, your eyes are too overwhelmed to know what to do. Walk towards the center of the square and you have a perfect view of the Arc de Triomphe, which lines up perfectly with the obelisk in front of you. All around the square, you can visit statues that represent some of France’s most known cities. While you’re exploring these, you’ll stumble upon the river Seine which runs along the square. Of course, there are all kinds of other interesting museums and historically interesting places (such as the Hotel de Crillon, the Nazis’ headquarters during WWII). And finally, tucked away in the corner, there’s a gated building with a humbly displayed American flag in front of it. I say “humbly displayed” because there are French flags all over the place, but I didn’t see this baby until I got close. There are police officers and cars blocking the streets around it and marines at the front door. Welcome to the United States Embassy in France.

It wasn’t until this moment that I realized I wasn’t really dressed the part. I mean, I’d been en route to Paris for days without a shower or a change. Luckily I had that haircut and shave in Tangier, otherwise I would have really looked like a homeless guy. Whatever. I got through security and walked into the embassy. I met a few others who were waiting in a small office. They were taking the test and also looked young, both also teaching but in Spain. Most of the others who came later were older, however. All seemed more qualified than me, but maybe I’m just modest. I also just may be an idiot and honest about it. The latter is more likely. We were escorted down a hall with tile floors. My shoes squeeked as I walked. I looked down at them sympathetically. These poor babies have been home to my feet for over five years, were very worn, muddy and full of holes. Also, they complained about it aloud with every step. Oh well.

The test was taken on old Dell laptops that had a notice taped on them: “STRICTLY UNCLASSIFIED.” There was a web browser open where we’d be taking the test. It was Internet Explorer. The geek inside of me shuddered. Please, people, get something else. Firefox or Safari are good choices. Anyway, I took my exam in spite of the urge to boycott the use of IE. There are 4 sections: Job Knowledge, English Language, Personal Questions, and Essay writing. I think I did ok on the English portion, because I speak my English real good. The rest of the test destroyed me. I can’t really say anything about it because I signed an agreement not to, but I feel like the little studying I did was worthless. I felt like I was playing goldeneye and sucking at it, being constantly shot, but somehow continuing until I finally died in the end. I was writing the 30 minute timed essay until literally the last two seconds. That test ate me for breakfast and then pooped me out, then it ate me again in poop form and vomited me out because it’s gross to eat poop. Having said that, I’m not too disappointed because I expected the worst. I was expecting to be pooped out, just not the rest. I mean, seriously, who eats poop? Never saw that coming.

Related posts:

1. What Happens in Morocco Stays in Morocco
2. We’re in Geneva, Surprise!
3. Baebae Reykjavik, Bonjour Nantes!
4. Studying for the FSOT