Best Spam Mail Ever

Don’t think of spam as trash, think of it as free entertainment delivered to your mailbox on a regular basis. It’s like Netflix, but free. We’ve all passed on the opportunity to receive millions from a Nigerian prince, as well as the opportunity to enlarge our penises to a meter long and the width of a Sequoia. Or, we’ve all passed on at least one of those. However, I got an email today from Dr. Bikash Sinha that just might just warrant a response. And it reads:

Dear Friend,
How are you? I hope all is well with your family, friends and pets. I hope this urgent mail meets you in a perfect condition. We have no time to waste regarding the information I am about to tell you, it is an urgent and serious matter.

My name is Director Bikash Sinha senior data analyst here at the CERN institute based here in Geneva CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is one of the world?s largest and most respected centers for scientific research. Its business is fundamental physics, finding out what the Universe is made of and how it works. You may have seen on the news that, in recent days, our Large Hadron Collider machine has been colliding high-speed beams of energy in order to explore new physics and understand how the universe began. CERN have been adamant that this is safe, however I KNOW THE TRUTH.

The truth is that this experiment that CERN are conducting is extremely dangerous, and could cause global disaster. This experiment has a 95% of causing a black hole, thus swallowing a large area of the planet. The scientists do not want you to know this as they know it will cause panic.

However, I can help you.

I am arranging for a number of selected people to be evacuated to a safe location on an island in the South Pacific via aerospace. You have been selected from random to take part in this evacuation, thus continuing the survival of the human race. Please, if you are interested, email me back immediately with the following information:

Full name:
Age:
Contact number:
Country:
Email address:

Please send all emails to my private box:>
europeanorganization@yahoo.com.co
Regards, and God bless.
Director Bikash Sinha

My favorite part is “This experiment has a 95% of causing a black hole, thus swallowing a large area of the planet.” Come now, that’s not even scientifically possible.

I responded:

How do I sign up???

This should be fun.

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